how fast does that mom-mobile go?

I was sitting at work, trying to finish up some odds and ends, when it happened.

It's the call every parent dreads.

Dad2Amara was on the line. I could hear Amara in the background...wailing. Her right ear was throbbing.

Amara's never had an ear infection before.

And I've never heard her cry in pain the way she was.

So I raced to the urgent care in my mom-mobile. The 20 minute drive to my hometown felt like an eternity.

Or so I thought. I wasn't prepared to sit for an hour in an empty urgent care, waiting for a physician's assistant to see us. That felt like an eternity. Not to mention I was annoyed that the doctor couldn't even give us the courtesy of seeing Amara when no other patients were in the building.

But I digress.

After finally arriving back home, I started to pack.

Have I mentioned I'm headed for San Diego today?

Leave it to me to procrastinate. So I had to get all my clothes together. Then I wrote out my presentation outline (I'm on a panel at a conference). Yeah, I still don't have my video presentation done and my plane leaves in five hours.

I have tremendous guilt leaving town -- selling the house (by the way, have you checked out our house blog yet?), Amara being sick, work obligations, blah blah blah. There's just a lot going on.

But that makes me want to take the mom-mobile and go far, far away as fast as I can.

I'm burned out.

So how fast can my mom-mobile go?

Not fast enough.

I can't wait to hop a plan and head for sunny California!

guilty as charged

A month ago, I stumbled up this.

"Guilt is also a great motivator, she said. Many parents work long hours and may feel less guilty about it if their kids have the best - and most expensive - of everything."

Oh. My. Gawd. I've become one of them.

I'm trying to buy Amara's affection.

I'm not accustomed to long work hours. I was fortunate enough to leave those days behind when I became Mom2Amara.

So when I decided to accept this new job - which is going fabulously by the way - I knew changes were in the works for our family dynamics.

But I never imagined I would be paying my way thru a guilty conscience.

Amara now owns a pair of cute new tights, a new outfit, snow gear (remember, Mom2Amara hates the outdoors so she'll probably never wear the stuff), and has picked up more Happy Meals than I care to admit. All in the last seven days.

But as I am now ending week two at the new job, I am definitely reminded that I love being a working mom. Hours may be long. But I feel accomplished knowing I'm making a difference thru my work and by being a role model to my child.

Now if only I could keep some of that new pay in my wallet instead of over-compensating when it comes to Amara...

mom, meet Switzerland

Even at the young age of four, Amara's school already has parent-teacher conferences.

And usually, Dad2Amara attends them. I speed thru traffic and rush after work to meet the teachers only to find that I have missed my conference time. Thank goodness Dad2Amara doesn't operate on Filipino time.

This fall, I went alone. Dad2Amara had a late class at the college. And I have tremendous guilt when he has to cancel class because of a family commitment. I seem to feel guilty about a lot of things lately.

Disheveled from my evening commute, I arrived at school, greeted by to two cheerful preschool teachers. Miss Becky is more matronly. A retired educator from a high brow private school, her children are now grown. Miss Julie is a newlywed, young and sweet.

I often wonder how they view our family. Parents who rarely work simply an 8 hour day. An only child in a community filled with families of growing proportions. A family in which pick up from school is many times like playing roulette: you never know who will be taking Amara from school. Could be me, Dad2Amara, Grandma2Amara or Babysitter2Amara.

But the parent-teacher conference went well. Amara has exceeded their expectations academically and emotionally. They claim she is beyond where an "average" four year old should be. Okey dokey.

So they seemed surprised when I asked how Amara interacted with other children. Here's the guilt talking again. I know as an only child, chances are she may not share as willingly as children with siblings. But amazingly, the teachers told me quite the opposite is true.

Amara seems to be the ringleader of her clique (their words, not mine).

Where Amara goes, a crowd follows.

When kids fight about what activity to do next, Amara is the peacemaker. She's neutral territory, making sure everyone's happy. She's the school's Switzerland.

What?!? My kid?

And apparently, if her group of friends cannot come to a consensus or the arguing gets to an all time high, Amara walks away and stays a neutral party. She'd rather not deal with the bickering and waits for them to simmer down. Only then will she consider playing with her friends again.

Wow. Amazing how Amara is completely one way at school and then does a 180 for her mom.

I left beaming. I'm so proud of Amara! Guess I could learn a lesson or two from her.