so this is what a dancer looks like

Heaven help me. Mom2Amara has become like all the other dance moms.

Look what I've done to my daughter.



Foundation. Eyeshadow. Eyeliner. Mascara. Blush. Lipstick. And a can of hairspray.

Wow.

sneak preview

Amara has eagerly been waiting for her recital night.

But that doesn't mean she won't give her a mom a sneak peak into what's in store for the stage.

Warning: This may be boring to most of you. But this is for you, Aunt2Amara!

Oh, and by the way, did you hear that we got an offer?

say cheese(ball)

We all know how much I love Amara's dance class.

But the girl enjoys it. So each year, we re-enroll her.

It's a recital year. Which means costumes, flowers, and professional pictures.

Amara's costume? It's obnoxiously red huge cute.


But with her sleek bob, putting her hair into the mandated bun is going to be an issue.

Yet all of the dance moms apparently don't have issues with dousing their daughters' hair in an entire bottle of hairspray to get their young, natural locks to stay put.

And making them look like hookers is not a problem either.

I recognize the importance of makeup when she's on the stage. But putting enough makeup on a four year old to make Bozo blush? Come on!

Not to mention that the clique-y dance moms are irritating. It's no wonder there are so many hard headed kids in the world...their parents don't listen either!

When the teachers ask moms not to open the window blinds because it will compromise the integrity and quality of the pictures, you'd think they'd listen. Seriously, the teachers had to post a sign prohibiting parents from going near the windows. Pathetic.

But it's all good. I'm not hating.

Because my kid's cuter than theirs anyways. [smile]

are all dance moms THIS mean?

I cannot believe that Amara's first dance class of the year has riled me up so much that I'm gonna blog about it. Again.

Would a friendly "hello" in response to my cheery greeting of "Happy New Year" kill them?

Does cracking a smile mean cracking through their icy personalities?

I don't understand how it was possible for me to find the dance studio with the most unfriendly moms.

I mean, I'm likable, aren't I?

They are cliquish. Funny, since I would never want to be like them.

But would showing some decency to the next mom do serious harm?

So if you're ever at Amara's dance class, let me offer you a piece of advice.

Come armed with mace.

Because you'll want to spray yourself in the eyes -- it would be less painful than sitting with these women for 60 minutes.

3 reasons to ban dance class

Today is the first day of the dance season.

I could do without the early Saturday morning classes. Especially since Amara dances like her father -- no rhythm and no grace.

But Amara really enjoys it. So we're going to shell out another $500 for lessons. Damn. I could have used that cash to buy a new purse and had money to spare.

So as I bitterly sat waiting for Amara's class to end, I was reminded as to why I. HATE. DANCE. CLASS.

1. Bitchy dance moms Simply put, I cannot tolerate rude people. And I take personal offense when other moms are the perpetrators.
   
   Nataly questioned why moms insult each other. But you know what? It's not just a mom thing. It's a human thang. Does common courtesy no longer exist?
   
   Case in point: Trashy mom sits down to my right. A few minutes later, fat mom sits down to my left. Amara comes waltzing in, needing to go potty. So I take her to the bathroom, only to return to find that fat mom is all in my space, talking to trashy mom and ignoring my attempts to take my seat. They then take the liberty of inviting another mom to sit in my seat even though my purse, Amara's shoes, and my coffee mug are below.
   
   What an elitist group of bi-otches.
   
   BTW, these are the same moms who turned their noses at me last year because I don't hog window space to watch Amara's every move. I'd rather read my morning newspaper and sip my coffee. And they are the very women who judge me because I work and cannot assist at every parade, fundraiser, or performance that comes about.



2. Recitals. I know Amara will never be selected to dance with the Joffrey Ballet. So why, in addition to my yearly registration fee and tuition, must I pay hundreds of dollars more for a hideous costume that she will wear twice - once during dress rehearsal and once for the actual recital? I have yet to see a four year old at Amara's studio exhibit any tremendous talent worth showcasing. So why the recital?



3. Individuality is not necessarily good.There's no "I" in team. And there's no Amara either. I hate knowing that my daughter is not participating in a team sport. There are so many mental and physical benefits to team sports -- many that Amara misses out on because she's in ballet and tap. So while she's trying to lift her leg higher in arabesque or get her feet in first position, other kids are learning teamwork and good sportsmanship.

Looks like I despise it even more than I did last year.